Why I LOVE ESPN's SportsNation

Here are just a few examples (videos) of my new favorite show on ESPN.
Dwayne L.

Video Of The Day: Jamiroquai-Dynamite

One of my favorite groups, singing one of my favorite songs. Go ahead, you can dance--I know you want to.

Dwayne L.

R.I.P. Keith "Guru" Elam July 17th 1962-April 19th 2010

Not sure how many of you are aware, but the Hip-Hop community lost one of its brightest stars this past Monday.  Keith "Guru" Elam, was a founding member of the Hip-Hop group Gang Starr, along with DJ Premier, and when I was younger, I thought no other rapper was cooler.  When you talk about someone having a command presence, and the ability to hold his own, Guru had it. I remember seeing the video for "Words That I Manifest" for the first time and thinking  "this Malcolm X looking cat is cool"--and their dancers are killing it (I had all of those moves down to the letter). 

Although not regarded as one of the best lyricist of all times, he actually was.  He had the flow, command, metaphors, and punchlines to hold his own with any MC of the day.  True, the production he and Premier wove together tended to outshine the content of his rhymes, but he was one of the greats.  Need proof, go back and listen to songs like " You Know My Steez", "Royalty", and "Just To Get A Rep" to name a few and tell me if I'm wrong. 

I remember the first time I saw "Mass Appeal" on Yo! MTV Raps, and I was just taken by how cool and fly he was.  The way he rocked he just went for his on the track and the swagger he displayed was so raw and under-appreciated.  He and Premo were a dynamic duo, but I truly believe he will forever be remembered for the genre-altering "Jazzmatazz" albums.  He was the first hip hop artist to combine a live jazz band with hip hop production and rapping.  It was also the first project to feature established rappers, opposed to the standard of using ones crew or posse to rhyme on an album.  At that time, the thought of hearing a rapper spit over the compositions of a Branford Marsalis, Ronny Jordan, and Roy Ayers, was unheard of. Its risks such as this, that will forever make him a legend. 

It's so funny how we tend not to appreciate greatness when its walking the earth with us, but I know his music will live on forever, because it was real music and was the soundtrack to many of our lives as we grew up in urban America.  Guru is all over my iPod and i'm sure that as I get older, I will continue to further appreciate and love the music he left behind.  Guru was actually a bacronym for Gifted Unlimited Rhymes Universal--and you know what, he had it and was it.

Rest in Peace Guru

Dwayne L.

Venting

Today is one of those days I just want to scream! April has not been a good month for me, nor is it going to end on the perfect accord. I guess all of the rough times you suffer through tend to either make you want to quit or persevere. I know I'm going to make it-- it just seems harder than it is right now--but my time is coming-- I just need to invoke some patience. Its just when you surfer through ALL I have over the last few years, patience just seems more like annoyance.

Who knows what tomorrow holds, but I just hope that when I do get the chance to see said tomorrow, its better than my previous 1,000 yesterdays.

Thanks for listening.
Dwayne L.

Video Of The Day: The Akron Hammer gives James Johnson a DUNKFACE!

In the words of Kenny Smith of TNT "Ohh, Take some of that!!"

Dwayne L.

Video Of The Day: Chuckii Booker-Turned Away

Takes you back to the days of Video Soul huh?  I know it does....

Dwayne L.

Just....

Sometimes, I need to write to let it all out.  At this particular moment, I'm not sure what I want to get out, but this forum always helps.  This past weekend I spent time between fighting old feelings, watching basketball (LOVES THE NBA PLAYOFFS!), and spending time with my daughter.  I had a conversation on Friday and the entire topic was based off of the saying "Hindsight is 20/20", and its so true.  If you had the chance to go back in time and change all of the mistakes you've made, would you?  Personally, I wouldn't change ALL of the mistakes, but the major few that i've made I would.  Why, because of my daughter.  There is nothing better than being a parent, especially one whom lives in the same residence as their child. 

That mistake (I'll let you read between the lines) is the one mulligan I would correct.  I am a dedicated, loving, and attentive father, and I love this role.  But, if I could be all of the aforementioned, but at home with her daily, I'd give anything to not have made the decision to divorce my ex-wife.  I have a nice amount of regret that will forever follow me in that regard, forever, but I welcome it.  Why, you ask?  Because, that terrible decision shaped me forever in the right way.  It made me appreciate true love, and companionship--and I miss that daily.  I know that whenever I meet my future lover, I will be all that I am supposed to be and more, and I am happy about that.  There is nothing better than growing from a situation that can be life-altering, and that one was.

On to other topics;  I think I have FINALLY, after several years of searching, found my calling--well, partially.  There is another goal I want to take on, and it won't hamper me from achieving the former, but I am excited as hell.  I've been talking about these new found "discoveries" ad nauseum with whomever is within earshot.  And the feedback has been completely positive.  Finding a passion--or in my case two-- is so awesome.  Its liberating, exciting, and terrifying all at the same time, yet, I finally feel free.  Free to go and obtain all that I long for and paving a path that will define my life and legacy forever.  That makes me feel great.  I know I tend to be vague when it comes to describing anything, but hey, It's in my DNA.

Anyway, thanks for reading/listening, and in the words of the legendary group U2 "I still haven't found what I'm looking for"  but at least I know where to start looking now.

Dwayne L.

All Together

It's that time.  That time of the year that seems to cause me so much heartache.  As any true sports fan will tell you, the playoffs are the most exciting and gut-wrenching time of the year.  The time when you're on the edge of your seat and the emotions of the games flow in a myriad of ways.  Personally, I don't take my Cavs losing that well.  Not even in the regular season, but during this time of year, a loss causes me to lose the ability to eat and sleep.  I know, I know, its crazy, especially since I don't "play" for the team, but that's the beauty of it all.  I give them all the support as if I were in the arena or a player in that locker room myself.

After having the league's best road and home record (second season in a row for both) and LeBron's impending free agency, there is so much pressure on 'Bron and the team as a whole, that I can feel it oozing from my computer screen. 

I love the Cavaliers with all of my sporting/cheering heart, and I will ride with them win or lose, but I CANNOT take another loss as I did last year.  It was hard to watch television, or to even have a clear thought after that series.  But I know this year will be different.  It will be.  That nasty taste of last season's loss, and the additions that have arrived to assist the king, are all that I (we) need to get by.  LeBron said it best yesterday "You're about to see a monster unlike any other in this year's playoffs" and I know he means it. 

This year's playoff rally cry is "All Together" and although I am just a fan, I am all in with this team and no matter how it ends, they will have my loyalty....but please God let us win it this season--I can't suffer another loss like last season...and neither can they.

Dwayne L.

Video Of The Day: Erykah Badu-Turn Away From Me (Get Munny)

 Nothing to say--this song is bananas.

Dwayne L. Shephard

Deep Thought Of The Day:

"I am sorry" 

When you utter that phrase, do you mean it?  Seriously?  How about this, try NOT to do the things that would cause one to say the aforementioned.  Yet, if you actually have to say this to anyone, please ensure you have the appropriate contrition behind it, because if you don't, you will always find yourself repeating said phrase, and never truly learning how to grow from mistakes.

Dwayne L.

Poem: Dreams

When I close my eyes, magic appears

That of my hopes, and also my fears

Some are like cheerleaders, minus the cheers.

Some, a quick synopsis of my darkest, most painful years

Dreams show me signs, some of a vivid imagination

where I can navigate a path, realitiy or some wild creation

I want understanding, yet I feel time is wasting

wasting on time, not on fascination

I see glimpses of who I used to be

that of a family man, walking toward a destiny

but now, they are random, not a true extension I see

yet, I can't seem to understand what these dreams are saying of me

Highs, lows, peaks, and valleys, but I wonder what my subconscience means

am I compassionate, free, and understanding...or a shell of a man, contempt to be

I don't know, answers seem to escape me, but dreams of happiness never flee

Reflective pool, are these dreams, that I know for a fact, as I smile with glee

But what about the scares, that wake me out of mydreams

are they still scares, without the company of screams

or...what if its a sequence out of a movie scene

that I happened to witness before I did, the pillow, lean

Who knows, but my dreams are mine alone, to understand

the definition of miscommunication, played by my own sandman

Maybe this is a prelude to my talent and unwritten plans

Or maybe, I'm a lone player, in search of a number one fan

Dwayne L.

I Can't Sleep

I can't sleep, so I guess I'll write down some random thoughts: 

Its funny how a lot of us were SO euphoric when the President was elected, but NOW all of a sudden, everyone seems to have some problem with him. I truly believe a lot of it stems from him being elected President, as a black man, also, the GOP has had a mighty hand in the "fear tactics"... Its modern day Jingoism, except, Health Care Reform was used.  That has added to alot of the division that's happened in this country. First it was, "Obama is a muslim", then it went to, "Obama is a socialist", too "Obama is the antichrist". I've noticed over the last few years, that Americans will believe damn near anything.

I believe in God 100%, but religion and the bible? Those are man made creations, so who knows WHAT to truly believe. I mean, we are following a book, that was written and told the stories of Christ, thousands of years ago, and we actually attempt to apply it to modern days. You always hear people say "times change, and you need to learn to adapt" yet, we follow a book, with no tangible evidence supporting it, and expect that and all whom "preach it" or "live it" to tell us its true? Question: God spoke to and thru alot of people during the stories of the bible, yet, he doesn't speak to us? I mean, when was the last time God appeared as a burning bush outside of your home or asked any of us to make a sacrafice to him? Umm, never, yet, we believe it because someone says too. LOL.

Really? If that's the case, then I guess when you "tithe" you are really giving money to God, huh? Why the hell would he/she need it?? To buy or pay off....what? I'm sure someone will come back with the "You are giving to the house of God, not to God him/herself" blast, but if we are really "giving to God's house and lining ourselves up for blessings by giving 10% of what we make", then why are there just as many, if not more, churches in black communities, than liquor stores, yet the physical and personal outcomes of those living in  said communities has never changed? So we don't come to our own respective conclusions anymore, huh?

Half of the people who have comments about Obama and politics as a whole, don't even follow either. You can tell by how shallow and baseless, their responses are. For example: "Man, I think he's the anti-christ", or "I have a bad feeling about him", and my personal fav, "he is killing our country". Some hear tidbits of this and that, and form what they consider to be "concrete observations" of what's true and what isn't. I believe the man is doing the best he can, under a flawed ass political, governance, and integrity-less system, that rewards the rich and murders the rest of us. Where were ALL of these people the last 8 years? Where were the Tea Party rallys then? We're all looking at the President's performance in office and want to "personalize it", meaning, what has he done for me? Last I checked, he was the President of the United States, and that covers all borders, cities, towns, and people. I commend the man, process, and completion, of a reform that's been 90 years in the making.  If only we can start doing what's right by each other, and stop the BS divide, that has us all at a standstill, maybe the world will be better place. 

Who am I kidding, we all have our vices, quirks, and opinions, and we are sticking to them--no matter how untrue or baseless, we are going to continue to do what it is, we believe...but is that actually right?


Diatribe over.

Dwayne L.

Special

Special:  The word itself is defined as: particular(a): unique or specific to a person or thing or category; "the particular demands of the job

In this particular setting...it's just random observations on life. I have been blessed to travel this earth, meet eclectic people, and have wonderful moments of clarity ....some, as viewed through the windows of my soul and felt in my heart:

I met someone special this past week.
I have a daughter that is so special to me.
I have a special ability to be very affable to everyone who meets me.
I crave the ability to be special to someone.
I have a special affection for rain soaked afternoons.
I see the special qualities in being emotional.

Am I special to someone when I do something nice and thoughtful?
I feel the special passion that encompasses any Diana Krall selection.
I respect someone who dedicates themselves to their respective special someone.
I witnessed that special moment in time, in Washington D.C., that occurred all over the world on November 4th 2008.
Who was the special someone in the beginning of the relationship before the love went away.....the hurt one, the one who left or both?

Everyone has their own special relationship with God.
That special feeling of hearing Sade sing.
The special moments of encouragement a people felt when Sam Cook sang"Change Gon Come"
Who was that special someone Anita Baker was singing about when she recorded "My Soul's Inspiration"?
When you realize being special is about what's on the inside and not in what you have.
Listening to Luther Vandross sing was special.

Growing from a boy to a man is special.
To return from Iraq was special.
Finding your soul is special...and then knowing how to contribute to the world.
To raise a child to be more than you were, is special
Falling in love is special
To kiss someone is special.

I am special.

Dwayne L.

Kariah S. Shephard

My Daughter. My queen. My love.....my life-blood. How do you put into words how you feel about someone who means the world to you? I can't. I have thanked my ex-wife so many times for giving me such a beautiful, delightful, and intelligent child.  We are so blessed! As you can see from the pic...this is the beginning of the end for me. See, as a father, your daughter will always be your Little girl.  That's so uncool because I will always see her as that Little baby/girl and I will always be her daddy, the protector of all, and her number one favorite. Alright, I know that isn't a reality and I am so scared. Am I raising her right? Am I doing my part to ensure she is ready for the world?

Will I be affable enough when she has questions about "boys" and why they are so stupid? I am not sure, but I have to prepare for it. I have had a life as tough as anyone, but I REALLY believe that the only blessing I have ever received is her. I am trying to be the man and father God intended me to be....and I must admit at times it is HARD. But, look at her......I can't quit......I have to continue to evolve.

Kariah, I love you more than I can attempt to express and I am so thankful for you. I know I have told you a many of times how much Daddy loves you, but I don't think there is anything more worthy than being the father you expect me to be. I am so sorry for the mistakes I have made, but I promise I will explain them to you personally when you are old enough to understand. Thanks for being the best child a father could ever want. I love and will always love you more than life itself. For everyone/anyone reading this....thank you for reading along....but as you can tell from the pic above, can you understand why I cried for 40 straight minutes during her Kindergarder graduation.....she is beautiful....and she is my daughter.....my baby girl.....my queen!

Dwayne L.

Questions? Part III

Why can't I go back in time and just be 16 again...for one day?!?

Have you ever noticed that Americans are split down the middle on every single important issue? The only time we seem to have a common agreement on anything, are in times of crisis (War, Natural Disaster, Terrorism), but that's only short lived because of our quick attention spans--is it so hard to just take that SAME united spirit and apply it to actually correcting the U.S.' myriad of issues?

When is Reality TV going to end?

Do people go to their High School Reunions for the following:
A. Re-ignite school spirit and reminisce on old times, classmates, and teachers
B. See those few people with whom they were close and lost contact
OR
C. Show off what they've become, versus, what you/they haven't--and to put it all up in someones damn face!....?

--I definitely choose the latter on that one....

If you really stop and listen to rap lyrics, it really makes you start to wonder: Why the hell would ANYONE actually enjoy listening too such blatant black on black violence, ignorance, misogyny, vain, homophobic, degrading, look-at-me, drugs/crime embracing, community deprecating, form of music as.....entertainment and a lifestyle to live by?

If you really just listened to the content of said music, and not the talented deliveries, would you truly be astounded by what was said above?

How many times have you seen the movie Friday?

What about Nightmare On Elm Street?

When did people become famous...for just being famous?

Does anyone watch ESPN as much as I do? If so/not, is that weird?

What immediately crossed your mind on 9/11?

Do you ever tell your true friends that you love them?

How many people do you believe will be at your funeral? Do you think they will mean what's said about you?

Who decided that we needed to pay for water, gas, and electric? Huh, who?

How does Bush sleep at night, knowing that he sent 4,000 young men and women, to their deaths.....for........? I was over there, and still don't know.

Is there really "nothing new under the sun"?

Why do we talk to our kids as we spank them? Who started that? Was I really supposed to answer those long-winded questions, as I attempt to save my own life? Was I, really? Huh?

Why did mom/grandma always tell you to GET a switch, KNOWING, we're coming back with something survivable....yet, she goes back outside and gets a baseball bat off of the tree to attempt murder on me with...hey, why the hell send me in the first place woman? Was it to make you madder?

I wonder what my future wife, whom I've yet to even meet, is doing right now?

Dwayne L.