My Friday (June 25, 2010) has been awesome. I enrolled and got accepted into college again, this time, DeVry University, Atlanta. I had to go and take a series of tests over a 3 hour time limit, designed to test my aptitude, and passed in the 90th percentile. So needless to say, I'm a little excited. Got about a week off before I start up and it feels good. I'm going to major in Multimedia Web Design and Technology...seems like something an eclectic cat would like, right? LOL
That's my today. I feel like I'm heading in a new, yet, exciting direction, and I am proud of me....good job, good sir.!
Dwayne
Friday, June 25, 2010
Video Of The Day: Depeche Mode---Behind The Wheel
One of my favorite videos/songs from the 80's, (1987 to be exact) the song is dark, and the video represents exactly what the song is about: Relationships. Love this.
Dwayne
Dwayne
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Once Upon A Time....
....there was a little boy named Dwayne. Dwayne was your average American little boy. He loved to play sports, video games, dance, and basically get into any and everything. (typical little boy ish) Even as he grew, he continued to enjoy being with friends and family, hell, even looked to the stars dreaming of a way to be in a place where he was happy...you know....happy. At the age ten, Dwayne began to feel weird. He just could not figure out where these feeling of distance, unfamiliarity, and emptiness started coming from. Yet and still, he just went on...on playing, dancing, writing, and....dreaming, except these dreams had him in strange places, with strange people he didn't know....but they cared and he knew love would be something real and not prayed upon. As those crazy/dreadful teen years approached, he was still searching, yet, had the ability to compartmentalize any and all of the terrible things that were going on at the time and occurred in (at that time) his most recent past.
He moved on to basketball, football, track, and women...ahem, excuse me, girls. Since those were the principle driving forces back then, he was once again able to compartmentalize his real life, and create a persona different than anyone had ever seen. Best part of it all was that, he was in control, and everyone in his movie were just co-stars, if that, he was the star. Even with that awesome mind state, something was wrong. He started becoming cynical and guarded. He had some awesome times, but he didn't trust any of his friends, family, and especially the women, excuse me, girls, he was bedding at the time. Now look at it this way: Handsome-ish, athletic, affable nature, funny, smart....don't you think having all of those attributes in your pocket would make you feel powerful, right?
No. Far from it. To think of it, it was the most miserable times because there wasn't a light at the end of the tunnel...I'm sure there wasn't a tunnel at all, but at the same time, he packed it all away to deal with later. Fast forward past high school and you have Dwayne, the Airman! He enlisted in the Air Force as a way to find his path and to figure out where life was taking him. He did it partly because of his father and figured it would be the perfect way to make him proud, all the while making money and traveling on Uncle Sam's dime. Well, that plan didn't out as hoped. Don't get me wrong, it was some of the best times in his life, yet, during that ten year period, he found himself slipping further and further away from everyone else and even himself.
The same story was starting to rear its head; Dwayne having major trust issues and constantly searching for any and every reason to distance himself from everyone. He didn't now it in this sense at the time, that comes along in a few. So where were we? Yes, the Air Force. Fast forward to 2005; Dwayne has a beautiful 3 year old daughter and is married too the best woman God has ever created for an companion. Would you like to guess what all happened? Dwayne sabotaged his marriage and career for....the path. A path he had no idea existed. Nor had a damn clue why he was walking...and alone at that. But you see, he enjoyed it that way. He figures if that's "his" mindset, he wouldn't have anyone hurting him, or he wouldn't be hurting anyone. Boy did that plan backfire. Dwayne then went through a depression that lasted nearly three years, and he became content looking backward instead of forward, mentally engaged in war he could never win, and for what you ask? Don't worry, its coming.
Fast forward a few years to the right now; and the answer(s) became crystal clear. He was missing his mother's love and affection and his father's ACTUAL man-like guidance, approval, and love. He hadn't received any of the aforementioned via his parents and seemed to go through life as blind as Ray Charles. Can you imagine what he's seen? What he's been through? If you had a clue, you'd understand, but that's for a different time. When the realization finally hit Dwayne on his 31st birthday, he felt alone....alone, alone. He looked back on his life in hindsight and hated his mother for all that she didn't do, and ALL of the terrible things he was exposed too. For the fact that he was cooking and cleaning at the age of 6 and how he knew what cocaine, violence, death, alcohol, cigarettes, and sex were before he even learned division. He hated his father because of who he is, and how he won't be true to himself for the sake of anyone. Oh well, you see the words were "hated," he has now moved on and gotten to a place where life is what it is. And he is fine with that. He still loves mom and dad dearly, but wouldn't life have been awesome if it were done the right way....you know...happily?
Probably not, but I think he's great now, and things are finally less hazy....holy shit!, we have a sun and clouds!!?
He moved on to basketball, football, track, and women...ahem, excuse me, girls. Since those were the principle driving forces back then, he was once again able to compartmentalize his real life, and create a persona different than anyone had ever seen. Best part of it all was that, he was in control, and everyone in his movie were just co-stars, if that, he was the star. Even with that awesome mind state, something was wrong. He started becoming cynical and guarded. He had some awesome times, but he didn't trust any of his friends, family, and especially the women, excuse me, girls, he was bedding at the time. Now look at it this way: Handsome-ish, athletic, affable nature, funny, smart....don't you think having all of those attributes in your pocket would make you feel powerful, right?
No. Far from it. To think of it, it was the most miserable times because there wasn't a light at the end of the tunnel...I'm sure there wasn't a tunnel at all, but at the same time, he packed it all away to deal with later. Fast forward past high school and you have Dwayne, the Airman! He enlisted in the Air Force as a way to find his path and to figure out where life was taking him. He did it partly because of his father and figured it would be the perfect way to make him proud, all the while making money and traveling on Uncle Sam's dime. Well, that plan didn't out as hoped. Don't get me wrong, it was some of the best times in his life, yet, during that ten year period, he found himself slipping further and further away from everyone else and even himself.
The same story was starting to rear its head; Dwayne having major trust issues and constantly searching for any and every reason to distance himself from everyone. He didn't now it in this sense at the time, that comes along in a few. So where were we? Yes, the Air Force. Fast forward to 2005; Dwayne has a beautiful 3 year old daughter and is married too the best woman God has ever created for an companion. Would you like to guess what all happened? Dwayne sabotaged his marriage and career for....the path. A path he had no idea existed. Nor had a damn clue why he was walking...and alone at that. But you see, he enjoyed it that way. He figures if that's "his" mindset, he wouldn't have anyone hurting him, or he wouldn't be hurting anyone. Boy did that plan backfire. Dwayne then went through a depression that lasted nearly three years, and he became content looking backward instead of forward, mentally engaged in war he could never win, and for what you ask? Don't worry, its coming.
Fast forward a few years to the right now; and the answer(s) became crystal clear. He was missing his mother's love and affection and his father's ACTUAL man-like guidance, approval, and love. He hadn't received any of the aforementioned via his parents and seemed to go through life as blind as Ray Charles. Can you imagine what he's seen? What he's been through? If you had a clue, you'd understand, but that's for a different time. When the realization finally hit Dwayne on his 31st birthday, he felt alone....alone, alone. He looked back on his life in hindsight and hated his mother for all that she didn't do, and ALL of the terrible things he was exposed too. For the fact that he was cooking and cleaning at the age of 6 and how he knew what cocaine, violence, death, alcohol, cigarettes, and sex were before he even learned division. He hated his father because of who he is, and how he won't be true to himself for the sake of anyone. Oh well, you see the words were "hated," he has now moved on and gotten to a place where life is what it is. And he is fine with that. He still loves mom and dad dearly, but wouldn't life have been awesome if it were done the right way....you know...happily?
Probably not, but I think he's great now, and things are finally less hazy....holy shit!, we have a sun and clouds!!?
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
That Damn Time of Year....
...yup, its that damn time of year...you know, that time where there are no Basketball, Football, or hell, even Hockey or Soccer on. (Sans The 2010 World Cup we are currently viewing...well, at least I know I am.) Nothing but regular television. How do you normal people just watch...regular television? Baffels me. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy television like everyone else. My DVR is filled with an myriad of different types of programming, but that's just it; its filled with, and obviously not being "viewed," in real time. Thats me. I watch sports live and the rest of the television world is on delay until I am ready to dive in.
I actually hate the fact that I have to start watching these shows now, and its only because I feel that void. For the remainder of June, until the end of August, I'll feel that void. Incompleteness. But the best part of it all is that once I allow the void to set in and the feelings of the right now slowly subside, football, College and Pro, along with basketball, will be right there to guide me...back. Back to my personal heaven, which occurs between September and June. Constant information, updates, scores, injuries, drama, controvery...it will all return, and my life will be back to normal: Back to revolving around sporting events, and all that it entails from fantasy sports, to the passions that rise during the playoffs.
So what do I do in the meantime....what....oh what too do.....
Dwayne L.
I actually hate the fact that I have to start watching these shows now, and its only because I feel that void. For the remainder of June, until the end of August, I'll feel that void. Incompleteness. But the best part of it all is that once I allow the void to set in and the feelings of the right now slowly subside, football, College and Pro, along with basketball, will be right there to guide me...back. Back to my personal heaven, which occurs between September and June. Constant information, updates, scores, injuries, drama, controvery...it will all return, and my life will be back to normal: Back to revolving around sporting events, and all that it entails from fantasy sports, to the passions that rise during the playoffs.
So what do I do in the meantime....what....oh what too do.....
Dwayne L.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Guess Who...
...It's Me! Alright, I know that was dumb corny, but its been a while since I've visited my blog, let alone written in it. Since my 31st b-day (I know, I'm getting old) I've been on the road a little, deep in thought a little, and tired beyond belief. I've also discovered some awesome things about myself that I didn't know existed and that's always amazing.
I plan on writing in this blog for a long time, but I think we all need little breaks here and there....right? I've been watching Hockey, Soccer, Baseball, and the NBA Finals. For the first time in my life, I think I am becoming a truly well-rounded sports fan and it feels great because I didn't know what I was missing in following some sports.
Umm...what else...there is nothing else. I've said a bunch of nothing, and it actually feels good to write that type of nonsense again.
Dwayne L.
I plan on writing in this blog for a long time, but I think we all need little breaks here and there....right? I've been watching Hockey, Soccer, Baseball, and the NBA Finals. For the first time in my life, I think I am becoming a truly well-rounded sports fan and it feels great because I didn't know what I was missing in following some sports.
Umm...what else...there is nothing else. I've said a bunch of nothing, and it actually feels good to write that type of nonsense again.
Dwayne L.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)